shades of brown

Debra J. Dickerson says Barack Obama isn’t black. Wait, no. He is black, he’s just not African-American. Or…wait. Maybe what Dickerson is really saying is that he’s not black enough. “The son of a Kenyan goat herder” and some white woman, a guy who’s “never been black for a living,” needs to get started with kissing some NAACP minister ass or he’s not gonna have a chance in this election.

Hold up.

 

Wait a minute.

 

What are we really saying here?

 

I mean, come on. Take a look at Obama. You think he’s gonna pass? You think he could’ve married George Bush’s sister? You think he could walk on into country clubs wearing some blue jeans and not get asked to mop the floor? Hell no. Obama might be light, bright, and damned near white, but “damned near” isn’t it, and everybody knows that, no matter what color their own skin is or what they claim to be. Dickerson goes from being angry at Tiger Woods for being “race transcendent” (which, as far as I can tell, means that he didn’t up and lie about his racial background to disown most of his relatives) to saying that Obama is keeping his non-blackness on the down low. She approves of it. I think. She approves of it because she thinks that Obama can get the side door open for Real Black Folks™. Even though he himself isn’t black.

 

Apparently, only cops don’t bother to make the distinction between RBF™ and Faux Black Folks. You know. Those people who only have dark skin, but who didn’t personally participate in the Civil Rights Movement. Because everyone they encounter in life will know right off the bat that they aren’t really black and thus they shouldn’t feel the effects of racism.

 

That’s sarcasm, by the way.

 

I want to say to Ms. Dickerson: Who the hell died and left you in charge of deciding who’s black enough? Except that she’s not alone in her views. She’s not supported by a cast of millions, but she’s not alone. Every kid who got called an Oreo in elementary school, every person who got told they were trying to act white, every woman who got told she was betraying her own kind for being a feminist: all of those people know that Dickerson’s not alone. Celebrate Kwanzaa, own a music collection that disdains both gangsta rap and Motown oldies but had better not have a white face on the cover of any album, show off Toni Morrison (but not Alice Walker or Zora Neale Hurston or Octavia Butler) and Maya Angelou on your bookshelves, pretend you eat chitlins and grits while keeping your Yoplait obsession on the d-l, and you can call yourself black just like Debra Dickerson. Almost. You might have to have a collection of African art, too. Because RBF™ love Africa. They love it so much, they made a fake holiday for it. They just don’t like or don’t care about or don’t notice Africans.

 

It’s not about who Obama’s parents are (although kudos to Dickerson on the “son of a goat herder” shot). Nobody cares who Obama’s parents are. Not Republicans. Not Democrats. Open racists sure don’t care; a nigger is a nigger is a nigger. Obama’s mama could’ve been Aunt Jemima herself, his daddy could’ve been Marion Barry, and if he looked and sounded like he does now, nobody would care.  There are only two things we care about in terms of race in this country: 1.) How light your skin is; and 2.) Whether we could learn the answer to #1 from how you answer your phone.

 

I am in no way denying the existence of racism, unlike some of the angry white people who commented on Dickerson’s article. Racism is part of US culture just like Twinkies, Elvis, and homophobia. What I’m saying is that once it’s established that you aren’t white, you get one more chance. You get to play the class card. You get to play the “I look different but I sound like you do” card. It’s kind of like a Get Out of Jail Free card. Just by saying, “Pleased to meet you,” you can put yourself firmly in the category of “safe,” not “thug.” But only if you can say it correctly. Only if you could say “hello” on the phone and not have someone know right away that you’re black.

 

The first one, the one about how light your skin is? Most of the time, that only matters to black people. For white people, all not-white people who are not some other specific ethnic minority are black, and any detectable amount of not-whiteness means one is not-white. It is primarily black people who carefully—and often subconsciously—calculate skin shades. Take a look around. When was the last time you saw a black man with a woman who had darker skin than his?

 

It’s not about Obama’s racial background. It’s about how he sounds.

If Obama answered his phone with “Wasssssssup?!”, five gets you ten that Dickerson wouldn’t give a damn about who his parents had been. The problem with Obama for Dickerson is that he’s not fronting. He’s not out there screaming about how black he is (and he’d have to do an awful lot of hollering to make up for how much money he has) to make up for his ability to get along in the white world. That’s why Dickerson thinks he needs to start begging forgiveness from the NAACP and powerful ministers. Because he did it wrong. You’re not supposed to go it alone. You’re supposed to need the help of the black community to get anywhere. Dickerson talks about whites’ “need for absolution.” Guess what? The upwardly mobile middle-class black community has the same thing. And that’s why she’s so angry at Obama. He’s not playing black. He’s not touting nonexistent connections to the hood like some no-talent wannabe rapper. He’s not doing it because he doesn’t feel guilty.

 

And that’s the kind of thing that gets you lynched by all the people who feel guilty as sin for not doing a damned thing to help out the hood once they made their bucks and their reputation.

 

Dickerson’s not dead wrong. Obama is not some homeboy from Detroit or from across my ghetto street. And George Bush isn’t some cracker from rural Georgia who says “wash” with an “r.” Clinton wasn’t some geek from Pennsylvania who plays D&D. Are we seeing a trend? Yeah, Obama isn’t representing the average black person in America. But anybody with a brain can see that Bush sure as hell isn’t representing the average white person in America. You think people in the hood are sitting around mad cause Obama ain’t like them? Then you’re seriously underestimating the intelligence of a good portion of the population.

 

Dickerson takes a paragraph to suggest that perhaps we ought to consider Obama’s politics rather than his color. Then she ignores her own advice, because considering people’s politics isn’t something we’re very interested in here in the U.S. And so we have yet another article about the color of Obama’s skin. That’s cool. I mean, if that’s what we’re gonna do, then that’s what we’re gonna do. I’ll keep on trying to figure out for myself what candidates’ stances are. But Ms. Dickerson? Could you please spare us the self-righteous hypocritical bullshit masquerading as political opinion?