Hello world!

Does anyone else feel that “Hello world!” is just a bit on the Mary-Poppins-ish side of things? Perhaps a little too…peppy? How about “yo!” or even a simple “hi” or the more hick-friendly “howdy, y’all”? Any of those would be acceptable, but no, we have “Hello world!”

Well, then. Hello world.

There are some things you should know about me right off the bat.

First, I’m a feminist. Should this cause you to wonder whether I hate men, refuse to shave my legs based on some sort of obscure principle, or go about burning bras*, I’d like to take this opportunity to point out to you that any such wondering may edge dangerously near to endorsing Pat Robertson’s claim that “Feminism encourages women to leave their husbands, kill their children, practice witchcraft, destroy capitalism and become lesbians.”

Second, I’m liberal. Depending on your definitions, I am either a bleeding heart liberal or a cold-blooded libertarian. What I am not is conservative. “Conservative” generally means “satisfied by the status quo.”

Third,  I do not mince words. I abuse them, love them, use them, and sometimes put them into a little Tupperware container for safekeeping, but mincing is not a thing that I do. As a child, I read a great deal of nineteenth century literature, and it made a strong impression upon me. Therefore, I do my level best to avoid becoming a yellow-bellied pansy-waisted milquetoast. I hope you understand.

* FYI: Bra-burning is a myth. While it is entirely possible that some women somewhere burned bras–I can certainly sympathize with the frustration that might cause such an event–it did not happen as part of the second women’s movement. A few women threw some bras into a trash can near the Miss America Pageant. Kind of disappointing, isn’t it?